Sunday Musings

Pix above: Me and pretty bestie Myrelle, Fri nite out at PS Cafe with the girls for her bday

Before I went for service today, I wanted to blog about the reasons why people go the church every Sunday and their behaviours there. And like deja vu, the sermon today was just about that subject. The preacher also asked what's the difference between a Christian and non-believer/other religious people who still does good works. It was something I've been asking.

But really, after a week of being an irritable porcupine for reasons the besties would know... I found peace again today. I know He's faithful, I know I'm blessed. I feel my restless heart quieten and eager to speak with Him again. He knows my needs even the deepest darkest stuff I fail to articulate.

It's hard to try to be all that when I'm at work when all I have to go on with sometimes is sheer bluster of confidence and show of bravado just to get people to listen. And it's hard to keep pride in check when you get impatient with people who are supposed to know better. I haven't been very gracious or humble lately, and I still struggle with the being nice to people part when you know they'd walk all over you if you don't keep up that game, and being a first-class bitch so that you get to stay in control. I play at jekyll and hyde all the time. It's disappointing when I played nice, that I still got crap. I was irritable cos I've been playing at those games the whole week. And with Christ convicting me, I kinda felt annoyed with myself. Then I felt annoyed cos it don't seem like I have a choice.

Still, grateful to besties who have started going to church again and asking me along, and also looking forward to a long awaited, much needed dive trip. I miss the view.