Ambivalence
These days i'm plenty inspired to the point of verbal verbosity.
Ambivalence, the word itself means that there are two ways about it. It's about not knowing which way you should turn, because either way that you go, there's a whole new world of possibilities out there.
Take a relationship for example, should I stay or should I go? Like a lawyer, you weigh the pros against the cons, piling both sides of the scale and hope that the tilt of the scales will point you in the direction that you should be heading, looking for some sign to point you in the right direction.
And as you continue piling, continue being analytical about it, something called the heart plonks itself down on the other side and you're left none the wiser because it balances all the negatives that you've been piling on the other side. But slowly, this ambivalence kills you. To me, that's one of the biggest killer of a relationship because ambivalence is so tiring. Is it too good to leave? Or too bad to stay? Are you happy or are you not?
In the midst of ambivalence, I believe there's a window of opportunity. It is that moment when you just know, when the moment is now, and you have the sense to recognize it for what it is. When it is gone, things are forever changed. No matter your actions, you know that your heart has already made a choice, regardless of the upkeep of appearances. In that moment of clarity, you find the answer to your ambivalence, It may not be pretty, it may not even be what you expected it to be. But there it is, the simple truth.
We stay too long in the same old sickly skin, and you feel like letting go. Now if we only knew how to let them go.
I hope a particular person finds some peace tonight. And my deepest apologies for not being able to be the person you would have wanted.
Perhaps in another time, in another place.
Perhaps clarity is a better release than the anbivalence that I have to offer.
Ambivalence, the word itself means that there are two ways about it. It's about not knowing which way you should turn, because either way that you go, there's a whole new world of possibilities out there.
Take a relationship for example, should I stay or should I go? Like a lawyer, you weigh the pros against the cons, piling both sides of the scale and hope that the tilt of the scales will point you in the direction that you should be heading, looking for some sign to point you in the right direction.
And as you continue piling, continue being analytical about it, something called the heart plonks itself down on the other side and you're left none the wiser because it balances all the negatives that you've been piling on the other side. But slowly, this ambivalence kills you. To me, that's one of the biggest killer of a relationship because ambivalence is so tiring. Is it too good to leave? Or too bad to stay? Are you happy or are you not?
In the midst of ambivalence, I believe there's a window of opportunity. It is that moment when you just know, when the moment is now, and you have the sense to recognize it for what it is. When it is gone, things are forever changed. No matter your actions, you know that your heart has already made a choice, regardless of the upkeep of appearances. In that moment of clarity, you find the answer to your ambivalence, It may not be pretty, it may not even be what you expected it to be. But there it is, the simple truth.
We stay too long in the same old sickly skin, and you feel like letting go. Now if we only knew how to let them go.
I hope a particular person finds some peace tonight. And my deepest apologies for not being able to be the person you would have wanted.
Perhaps in another time, in another place.
Perhaps clarity is a better release than the anbivalence that I have to offer.
posted by almost lucid at
11:00 PM
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